Canonical List of Uses of the Phrase "Ain't In It" in Patrick O'Brian's Aubrey-Maturin Series

H.M.S. Surprise


“‘I’ve followed him these many years, sir, and I’ve never known him so outrageous: lions ain’t in it.’”

The Mauritius Command

“‘How Goldilocks does crack on. Slavedriving ain’t in it, when you consider two weeks of no duff; and it was much the same in Simon’s Town.’”

The Fortune of War

“‘And tell me just how many people you have aboard - you would scarcely credit how hungry I am for men. Ogres ain’t in it.’”

The Surgeon’s Mate

“Before she could reply Jack walked in. ‘How d’ye do, cousin?’ he said. ‘I heard your voice, and I thought I would just give you good day before going out. You are looking very well - peaches and cream ain’t in it.’”

The Ionian Missian

“‘He is enormously strong, for one thing; he is always the first to board and he is a most terrifying sight on the enemy’s deck: mad bulls ain’t in it.’”

The Far Side of the World

“‘Never was such a Behemoth of vice as that master cooper. Lucifer ain’t in it.’”

The Reverse of the Medal

“‘In my line you get a nose for these things, and I had not listened to him five minutes, no nor two, before I knew he was as innocent as a babe unborn. But dear me, gentlemen, lambs to the slaughter ain’t in it: I have rarely seen the like.’”

“Stephen laid down his fork and his piece of bread. ‘Is it very severe?’ he asked.
‘Scorpions ain’t in it. He excepts the frigate S-- under the honourable conduct of Captain A- from charges of whoredom, sodomy, and cruel capricious tyrannical punishment, but he comes down on the rest like a thousand of bricks.’”

The Letter of Marque

“‘It is several minutes past supper-time - Evans has already looked in twice - and if I am not fed when I am used to being fed, your vultures ain’t in it: I tear my companions and roar, like the lions in the Tower.’”

“‘You have been uncommon busy, Mr Bentley, you and your crew.’
‘Busy, sir? Bees ain’t in it.’”

The Thirteen Gun Salute

“‘Lord, Stephen, I am quite fagged with running about London so. Pillar and post ain’t in it.’”

The Commodore

“‘Wig in his bosom - wig in his bosom,’ muttered Killick as he gathered up the clothes. ‘Bedlam ain’t in it.’”

“‘There is Tom and everybody else aboard, everybody in all His Majesty’s ships and vessels under my command, skipping about, getting wet - look how it is coming down now! - hauling aft - tally and belay - laying aloft - coiling down - bees ain’t in it - while we sit here like fine gentlemen, ha ha, ha!’”

The Yellow Admiral

“‘My best was still larger,’ said Lovage. ‘You must breakfast with us. The two fishes ain’t in it, nor the five loaves. Dick’ - this to a waiter - ‘lay for us all in the Dolphin parlour, will you?’

“‘I have often heard them mentioned,’ said Stephen. ‘Always with strong disapprobation and even loathing.’
‘Scylla and Charybdis ain’t in it, with a strong southwester and a falling tide,’ said Jack.”

Blue at the Mizzen

“‘You mustn’t open a chronometer, no, not if it is ever so,’ said the master: and the company agreed. ‘Flesh on Friday ain’t in it.’”

“‘Is the sea calm?’
‘Mill ponds ain’t in it.’”